Oh my gosh. Why am I so disgusting. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that much, but I did. I always do. And now I get to lie here wishing I could go back and eat nothing at all. Hopefully I'll have the willpower not to eat like that tomorrow. Why is life such a struggle? Why do I have to fear being fat? Fat isn't the worst thing someone could be. It's not even the worst thing I could be, but still I hate myself. I look in the mirror and hate what I see and I'm sick of it. I always thought that if I could get down to the weight I am now that I would be okay, but I'm not. I still want to lose 10 more and I'll probably still want to lose 10 more after that. When will it end? Why can't I just love myself the way I am? Oh that's right because bikini season is coming and I don't want to be the ugly fat one in a tankini anymore, but no matter how much weight I lose I will be because of my disgusting stretch marks.